Wednesday, October 29, 2008

why are guys so weird?

Tricia said it the best with, "I think it has to do with the whole penis thing...."

Classic Tricia.

my posse's on broadway

Being born and raised in Seattle gives me a deep appreciation of all things Broadway. From the students crawling at Seattle Central to Dick's to the Hendrix statue to the panhandler's witty signs... I love this place! I don't know how many times I have ended up there at 2 in the morning after a night of drinking, devouring a Dick's Deluxe at the outside counter, after having given my fries to the homeless guy and his dog sitting by the newspaper stands. I can't imagine what it would be like without the diversity of the dodge ball players at the tennis courts, with their knee high socks, afros, yellow rubber balls and boom boxes. Once I even saw a skateboarder wearing a rabbit costume head while he rode back and forth, dodging random cars and homeless people!
Although I've enjoyed the quirks of Broadway for many years, I have discovered a few more reasons to love it. I got home from work the other night and it was one of those nights where you just want to get dressed up and have a few drinks and pretend like you don't have to work the next day. So with my gay by my side, I headed directly for Broadway and we ended up at the Broadway Grill. We walked in and the place was decked out for Halloween with pumpkins everywhere and fake spider webs and costume contest fliers. We were seated right away and everyone was really nice. Other than the wait staff being a little slow (due to the heavy volume), everything was really great. We started with one of those spinach-artichoke-jalapeƱo dips with pita bread, which was good, but I think they left out the jalapeƱos. Nathaniel ordered a Dungeness crab sandwich and I got fish and chips. Both dishes were huge, tasted amazing, and were reasonably priced. We even got to chatting up our neighboring table a bit. To say the least, we were having a great time. Then, after we had finished eating, we were having a discussion that looped from how hot one of the line cooks was to where we are going to go dancing on Halloween to his new love interest to who we consider to be appropriate candidates for anxiety or depression meds (don't ask). All the sudden the not so hot line cook let out the loudest burp, and we both stopped talking and just stared at each other, while looking at the cook with our peripherals. I couldn't even say anything, but the ever witty Nathaniel says, without missing a beat, "And he just cooked our food." Totally sick.
On another note, we also stopped into Trendy Wendy, which is a little hole in the wall clothing store that also sells a lot of trendy accessories. As I am leaving on my cruise in two weeks, Nathaniel and I thought it very fitting that I should happen to acquire some new pieces to take with me. We tried on heaps of stuff, and finally settled on 3 shirts, two hats, earrings and a coin purse. I also had my eye on the diamond microphone chain, but it wouldn't have matched my shoes (wink). Anyway, the staff was wicked helpful and funny, and played along as I told jokes at the counter. Right up until we realized we didn't bring our debit cards. Fuck. I really wanted those clothes too... Just another reason for me to go back to Broadway! Either way, the store was fun, current, and the employees were a blast... I can't wait to go back and get Trendy'd out!

Below are a few pictures from me on Broadway...

siamese fighting fish

You know, I'm a pretty lucky girl. I've got family close by, I've got a great place to live, I've got friends all over the world, I've got my health, I've got enough money to do the things I want to do. But most of all, I've got the greatest BFF a girl could ever have. I've never officially introduced my gay. And don't worry, he's not offended. He's known as Homie Lover Friend, my gay boyfriend, and my mom's (she wishes) future son-in-law. But most of all, he's known as Nathaniel. He is the light of my life and the wind beneath my wings.
So, basically I need to give you this preface, because I almost did the unimaginable. I kind of half cheated on my gay. During Pride weekend earlier this summer, Nathaniel and I ran into an old friend we hadn't really seen since high school and it was quickly decided that this old friend (also gay) and I would be hanging out in the near future. Fine. Good deal. This is the guy that took me to Sophomore Homecoming, and decided to come out just after dating me. Fucking fabulous. Gold star for my ego, eh?
Anygay, I tell Nathaniel about this meeting, because he has to be prepared, right? He promptly tells me, "You better not leave me. It'll be like Siamese Fighting Fish. You'll have to lower me down in a bag and let us smell each other for a while." So I assure him that I will never leave him and that I plan on hanging out and that's it. No funny business.
So the hang out begins. I pick up GJ at his boyfriends house in the U District. That was fine, but I have a pounding headache from no breakfast and plenty of coffee. Our plan was to go to my house, have some drinks and then make sushi. Well, I didn't make the rice the night before like I was supposed to, so making sushi was out. But drinking was still on the menu. We stop at the liquor store and grab a bottle of vodka and as we're driving home, he insists on changing my radio stations and turning up the volume and just plain messing with stuff that he shouldn't!! I'm not into picking fights about this, so I let it go. Until he lands on some stupid tweeny pop Hannah Montana Jonas Brothers blend that just makes me want to puke. He turns it up and I promptly turn it down with my handy steering wheel adjustments, but then he turns it up again! This went back and forth a few times until I turned it down one last time, looked at him and said, "J!!! I told you I have a headache - stop turning it up!!" And it starts.
The whole day was filled with crap like this. We got to the house and started making drinks, which I didn't even drink. I was so not in the mood when I got home. So we put on a movie - Angels in the Outfield. It's a classic, ok? Danny Glover, that 3rd Rock From The Sun kid, Maggie (who also played the Bird Lady in Home Alone), and JP (who meets the movie's entire cuteness quota!). Apparently though, GJ thinks the movie is stupid and complained the whole time that he forgot how dumb it was. This starts my furious texting to Nathaniel begging him to come over and rescue me. I've made a huge mistake, I won't ever do it again, please take me back!!
So then GJ and I went to sushi at Sushi Land and... Can you be any pickier? "Their selection sucks. Don't they have any spicy tuna?" Que the eye roll here. The drive home was the best... I put on my music. I blasted a bit of Li'l Wayne for his stuck up ass. The entire way he continued to tell me how much he hates Hip Hop. If you know me, you probably know this is the wrong thing to say to me. I side-glared him up and down with raised eyebrows and turned it up louder. I finally dropped him off and immediately called my gay.
Moral of the story is: nothing can calm me down like my gay. I swear, if he was straight, I'd totally marry him.

you're trying too hard

So I tried a new restaurant on Capitol Hill called Charlie's. God was it terrible. I went with my always present gay and all I could do was give him the "Are you fucking kidding me??" look. First of all, I fully believe in advertising what you offer. So when I go into a restaurant that's got low lighting, classy artwork, wing back chairs and 10 dollar cocktails, I expect a menu that reflects the same. It didn't. Not to mention the wait staff was terrible. We were seated by one person, gave our drink orders to another, ordered food from another, and our food was brought by yet another. When our food came with part of the meal missing, we didn't even know who to complain to. And just one table over was a group of folks who kept taking pictures of one another and flashing their camera right in our faces. I mean, honestly? Overall, it was just a bad night. Maybe we caught them on an off night or something, I'm not sure. But it was bad. Will I be returning? Negative.

from the mind of a twisted child

So I came across this book that I started writing when I was 14 years old. It started out as just a blank notebook for me to take down my thoughts and ideas, but mostly my poems. It quickly became my escape. I've included here some of the poems that touched me the most after all these years... Let me know what you think.

hate me
cry with me.
make me yours.
envelope me.
wash my shores.
hit me.
hate me.
want me.
take me.
trust me.
take your time.
anger me.
please be kind.
twist me.
break me.
crush me.
shake me.
no time for smiles.
blacken my eye.
always riled.
tell me lies.
punish me.
mug me.
wreck me.
Love Me.

unable to see before me
i've given up again
trying to show him
all he's caused is pain.
unable to speak
ive become unuseful
becoming numb
my thoughts are turning dreadful.
you close your eyes
and dream
i fear the night
unable to sleep.
the dark skies kill
and rip me apart
i have only one thing left
my dark and scar filled heart.
the moon shines clear
but soon turns crimson red
dripping blood through the sky
these nightmares i dread.
these dead men arise
and wink at me
they're the only sane people
i am able to see.
the moon, now black
leaves these men
and my day, i regret
must start again.

you're all i see.
all i dream
broken promises haunt me,
while i watch the scary
movies on the inside
of my
not wanting justice,
it's just this...
wanting to be left alone.
let me learn this on my own.
cannot make you happy
when it makes me miserable.

its like a tidal wave,
erupting from the sea.
causing damage to anyone around it.
everyone begging for it to stop.
wishing calm would return to their homes.
this rose falls.
it's petals dried and dead,
stem breaking.
rain drops fall onto dark cold pavement,
dampening it,
creating a pool of ignorant ice.
ripples always start small.

blow away
admiring my scars,
wishing they'd blow away.
my memory relapses,
thinking back upon that day.
with my arm stretched out,
and fear in my eyes,
i sliced through the skin,
bringing tears to my eyes.
my river of tears,
burning my time.
unanswered questions,
burning my mind.
i thought my life
was my own work of fiction.
but in reality, i,
was my own contradiction.
too quick to say yes,
when i knew to say no.
doors slammed in my face,
just where was i to go?
unloved and unwanted,
in this cold and dirty place,
dead behind this smile,
too much fear to face.

the story of
my life.
again, i am
thrown in the gutter
like a pile of
they take of
me what i will
then they forget me
and dash.
betrayed by my
used by my
hurt by
unwanted by
the story of
my life.

burns like glass slicing
over the skin
showers liquid red
consuming me
my secret grows
i stagger
bruised by you
slender sister
dark from crack
dry through the liquid
her tongue says dirt
immense want burns the love

Monday, October 6, 2008

stick men aren't just for kids

Ever heard of these stickmen cartoons? They're pretty much everywhere now a days. They're usually pretty crude and politically incorrect, so if you're easily offended, then don't bother. I can't seem to get enough of these guys. But in case you're a newbie - here are some of my favorites.

To see more, head to!

Thursday, October 2, 2008


So what the fucks up with US Weekly magazine having their article "Stars - They're Just Like US!"????? Fucking obviously. They're not aliens. This pisses me the hell off. Just because someone is famous doesn't mean they don't do the same things we do! It's shit like this that makes people thing that they're NOT like us - because if they were, we wouldn't have to point it out!!! Jesus people....gimme a freakin break! I was reading the October 6th edition today and it showed a picture of Goldie Hawn and Kate Husdon at some party laughing and having a good time. The quote said, "They Laugh With Their Moms!" Are you fucking kidding me?! They laugh with their moms?! Why wouldn't they laugh with their moms?? I'm sure Kate really said to herself, "Now that I'm such a celebrity, I'm way too good to laugh with my mom like the common folk do." They also had a picture of Lindsay Price reading a paper and eating some dessert looking thing. The quote said, "They Read While They Snack!" Really?! Apparantly, when you morph into Celebrity Status, you lose all ability to multi-task. Honestly...I am rolling my eyes at this shit. And we wonder why people are obsessed with celebrities...

question of the day

If you aren't particularly religious, don't attend church, don't pray or read the Bible... is it necessary to capitalize the word God? After writing my previous blog, I realized that I had capitalized it. And that orginally, I hadn't capitalized it, but changed it. Makes me wonder - if you don't necessarily believe in God, do you have to make it look significant? god. I think I like it better lower case (P.S. why is there no word for 'lower case'?!) And why do we capitalize Bible too? I realized that I did that earlier in this blog. bible. I like the way they look in lower case, but for some reason, I do feel compelled to capitalize. Hmmmm.... any ideas?

UPDATE: Discussed this question with Nathaniel last night, and he made a good point. Whether or not you believe in God really isn't the point. The fact that God is a name means it should be capitalized. We don't necessarily believe in the Greek Gods like Zeus or Athena, but we capitalize them too, right? So, all in all, looks like capitalizing names is key. Point taken.

know what I hate?

Baby talk. What is the deal with women who talk like this??? I have yet to find a man who does it, Thank God. But I mean honestly, it's annoying as hell. It's grating on my ears and makes me want to slap someone. Now, I'm not talking about when you coo at an infant. I'm talking about fully grown adult women. Well, they look adult. Obviously there is something that never quite grew up, eh? I have known many a women in my day that talk like this - sometimes all the time, sometimes only about certain things, and sometimes they just have that high pitched voice that makes me wanna rip their vocal chords out. Those are the worst, because even though they may be incredibly smart, the way they talk makes them sound forever 12. I understand you can't really change the way you speak - I mean you can, transgender folks do it all the time - but unless you have a reason to, it's not something you'd think to do. But maybe we should have classes, huh? Like special trainings that people have to go to. When you have a lisp as a kid, they send you to a speech therapist. Why not have speech therapy for adults who can't snap out of this God awful state? That's all I'm sayin....
word on the street is...