from the mind of a twisted child

So I came across this book that I started writing when I was 14 years old. It started out as just a blank notebook for me to take down my thoughts and ideas, but mostly my poems. It quickly became my escape. I've included here some of the poems that touched me the most after all these years... Let me know what you think.

hate me
cry with me.
make me yours.
envelope me.
wash my shores.
hit me.
hate me.
want me.
take me.
trust me.
take your time.
anger me.
please be kind.
twist me.
break me.
crush me.
shake me.
no time for smiles.
blacken my eye.
always riled.
tell me lies.
punish me.
mug me.
wreck me.
Love Me.

nightmares
unable to see before me
i've given up again
trying to show him
all he's caused is pain.
unable to speak
ive become unuseful
becoming numb
my thoughts are turning dreadful.
you close your eyes
and dream
i fear the night
unable to sleep.
the dark skies kill
and rip me apart
i have only one thing left
my dark and scar filled heart.
the moon shines clear
but soon turns crimson red
dripping blood through the sky
these nightmares i dread.
these dead men arise
and wink at me
they're the only sane people
i am able to see.
the moon, now black
leaves these men
and my day, i regret
must start again.

uneasy
uneasy,
you're all i see.
all i dream
about.
broken promises haunt me,
while i watch the scary
movies on the inside
of my
eyelids.
not wanting justice,
it's just this...
wanting to be left alone.
let me learn this on my own.
cannot make you happy
when it makes me miserable.

ripples
its like a tidal wave,
erupting from the sea.
causing damage to anyone around it.
everyone begging for it to stop.
wishing calm would return to their homes.
this rose falls.
it's petals dried and dead,
stem breaking.
rain drops fall onto dark cold pavement,
dampening it,
creating a pool of ignorant ice.
ripples always start small.

blow away
admiring my scars,
wishing they'd blow away.
my memory relapses,
thinking back upon that day.
with my arm stretched out,
and fear in my eyes,
i sliced through the skin,
bringing tears to my eyes.
my river of tears,
burning my time.
unanswered questions,
burning my mind.
i thought my life
was my own work of fiction.
but in reality, i,
was my own contradiction.
too quick to say yes,
when i knew to say no.
doors slammed in my face,
just where was i to go?
unloved and unwanted,
in this cold and dirty place,
dead behind this smile,
too much fear to face.

unwanted
betrayed
used
hurt
unwanted
un
want
ed.
the story of
my life.
again, i am
thrown in the gutter
like a pile of
trash.
they take of
me what i will
give,
then they forget me
and dash.
betrayed by my
'family'
used by my
'friends'
hurt by
all
unwanted by
everyone.
un
want
ed.
the story of
my life.

untitled
burns like glass slicing
over the skin
showers liquid red
consuming me
my secret grows
i stagger
bruised by you
slender sister
dark from crack
dry through the liquid
her tongue says dirt
immense want burns the love